The Prince's Consort (Chronicles of Tournai Book 1) Page 18

  “You’re very naïve sometimes. The world doesn’t work like that, not for people like us. But I would like to believe it.”

  “It worked like that for me. Against all the odds, it worked out for me. I found Philip, and we love each other, and now we’re getting married. And it worked like that for Adeline too. She’s marrying in the spring—an earl’s son, and she really cares for him.” He stared into Tristan’s eyes, trying to will him to believe. “I’m living in the place where you would think every marriage would be arranged for maximum political and economic gain, and for me it’s just the opposite. So I believe it can work.”

  “Maybe. It’s wonderful about Adeline.”

  He gripped Tristan’s hand, pulling his friend’s attention out to him from where it had focused inward. “I want it to happen for you too. I want you to be happy, Tris.”

  “Thank you, Amory.” Tristan gripped his hand back.

  “So, still friends?”

  “Always.” Tristan pulled him up and into a hug. They held tight for long moments, Amory basking in relief that they were friends after everything that happened. Philip might have become his best friend as well as the man he loved sometime over the past months, but Amory wasn’t sure what he would have done if he lost Tristan. So much history existed between them, so many shared experiences—not only their being each other’s first kiss—that Tristan would always hold an important place in Amory’s life.

  The sound of a door opening and closing again broke into his thoughts. He pulled back from Tristan’s hug, but he didn’t let go, and peered around Tristan. Philip and Etan stood just inside the room. Etan’s expression was blatant curiosity but Philip’s was blank in a way Amory didn’t like. He let his arms fall away from Tristan and held out a hand to Philip.

  “Philip, come meet Tristan.”

  Philip’s expression cleared a little, and he walked closer, taking Amory’s hand. Tristan bowed, and he and Philip exchanged greetings.

  “May I congratulate you on your betrothal, Your Highness?” Tristan said.

  “Thank you, Master Tristan.” Philip’s demeanor was stiff, but his greeting was pleasant.

  “I admit I was surprised when I heard, but I’m very happy for Amory and you.” Tristan smiled. “The city was shocked, but there are a lot of people who are pleased as well. You are marrying one of their own after all.”

  Philip laughed. “I never thought about it like that, but I’m glad not everyone is opposed to the idea.”

  Amory squeezed Philip’s hand. “Why don’t we all sit down for a while? I was going to ask Tristan to tell me about his travels.”

  “Of course.” Philip guided him to one of the couches and sat with him while Tristan took another. Etan still stood near the door.

  “Etan? Are you joining us?” Amory asked, looking over at the man hovering as if he wasn’t certain whether he should stay or go.

  “Etan, yes, please join us,” Philip said. “I’m sorry I didn’t introduce you. Tristan, this is my cousin, Etan. Etan, this is Amory’s friend Tristan. They grew up together.”

  “As we did.” Etan walked forward.

  Tristan had an odd look on his face as he stood again and bowed to Etan. “It is an honor to meet you, my lord.”

  “Etan, please, for a friend of Amory’s. And it is a pleasure to meet you, Master Tristan.”

  Amory’s eyebrows flew up at the near purr in Etan’s voice and climbed farther as he took Tristan’s hand. They couldn’t go up any higher—not for lack of trying—as Tristan smiled a strange little smile, his eyes wary, but… interested?

  “Then it’s Tristan, please.”

  Amory glanced at Philip beside him, hoping Philip could tell him if he was seeing what he thought he was. Philip gave him a slightly bewildered, slightly incredulous look, enough for Amory to know he wasn’t imagining things.

  Tristan reclaimed his hand and sat again. Etan seated himself next to Tristan, not too close, but closer than necessary. Amory had no idea what to make of it. Perhaps best to let it go for the time being.

  He settled closer to Philip, content when Philip rested his arm over Amory’s shoulders, the warm weight of it feeling right. “Tristan, why don’t you tell us about your travels?”

  Tristan did so enthusiastically, describing the long trip he and his father took to Amaranta and Elleri. He painted a vivid picture of the places he had seen. Amory realized he was a bit jealous. He had never left Tournai and wasn’t likely to. True, everything he wanted was right there with Philip, but the stories Tristan told made him wish a little that he could see some of those places.

  The conversation wound around to events in Tournai while Tristan was gone, mostly the detailed story of how Amory had come to be at the palace and what he had been doing since. Tristan was gratifyingly irate at what Amory’s father had tried to do all those months ago. Even Philip began to warm to Tristan as the visit went on, which made Amory happy. He wanted Philip and Tristan to like each other, and he hoped that wasn’t asking too much of either of them.

  “WHEN WE marry are you finally going to move in here?” Philip called from the dressing room as he changed for bed that night.

  “Into your dressing room?” Amory responded with a laugh and turned back to the bedside table where he was sorting through a pile of books and papers, looking for his small sketchbook. He wasn’t sure when so many of his things had migrated into Philip’s bedchamber.

  “Funny.” Philip walked into the bedchamber, wrapped in his velvet dressing gown. “When are you going to move into this bedchamber with me?”

  “You want me to?” He left off his search and straightened up.

  “Yes. That’s why I asked.”

  He plunked the books in his hands back on top of the others on the table. “Don’t noble married couples keep separate bedchambers? Separate suites sometimes?”

  “Many do. But many marriages aren’t based on any feelings between the couple. Ours will be, and I would very much like you here, not all the way across the suite.” Philip wound his arms around Amory’s waist and pulled him close.

  “You talk as if my bedchamber is across the country, not on the other side of the sitting room.” He laughed and slid his arms up around Philip’s neck. “We sleep together every night anyway.”

  “Yes, we do. Every night. So why not move in here with me?”

  “Well, when you put it that way, it does seem silly not to.” He grinned and kissed Philip. “All right, I will.”

  “You will? Good, we’ll move your things tomorrow.”

  He laughed when Philip hugged him, arms squeezing until he almost couldn’t breathe. “Eager? Why don’t we move everything tonight?”

  “You’re joking, but be careful, I might take you seriously.” Philip steered him toward the bed. “Tomorrow.”

  “All right.”

  He allowed himself to be coaxed into the big bed they did share every night, not that it took much coaxing. Philip stripped them both of their dressing gowns, and pulled the covers up over them. They snuggled down into the warmth of the blankets, cuddling up close to each other, tangling their limbs together and holding on. They did this often, whether in bed, on the couch, or on the soft rug in front of the fireplace. Once in a while, Philip changed into a cat and then sprawled against Amory, but often he didn’t. They talked or stayed quiet, touched gently or stayed still and wrapped around each other. Sometimes it led to their making love, sometimes it came after, and sometimes all they did was sleep. Amory loved it whichever way, and he thought Philip needed it, that it fulfilled some need in him for touch and closeness.

  That night they were quiet for a long time, lazily caressing each other’s hair and skin. Amory thought about what moving into Philip’s bedchamber would mean, but he gave up after a while. It didn’t matter, because he was doing it. His thoughts drifted to Tristan’s visit. All told, it had gone well. He was so relieved his friendship with Tristan wasn’t ruined, and he hoped any lingering awkwardness would fade with ti
me.

  “Did you like Tristan?” he asked. “I know it was awkward for you to meet him.”

  “A little.” Philip combed his fingers through Amory’s hair.

  “I’m sorry. Thank you for doing it, though. I wanted you to meet my oldest friend, and I appreciate it so much that you did.”

  “You’re welcome.” The slow movement of Philip’s hand in Amory’s hair continued, and after a while he spoke quietly. “I thought I would hate him. I think I wanted to, which is awful because you were so kind when you met Vasco.”

  Amory had been as kind as he could be, but he’d wanted to hurt Vasco, because Vasco hurt Philip. “It wasn’t easy.”

  “Thank you for doing it.” Philip kissed his forehead, and admitted, “I wanted to rip you away from him when I walked in that room and saw you hugging.”

  “Were you… jealous?” The idea was almost absurd, except it wasn’t, and it gave Amory a secret little thrill that Philip would feel jealous about him. “You don’t need to be. I don’t feel anything other than friendship for Tristan. I don’t even want to kiss him anymore.”

  “Well, that’s a relief.” Philip’s smile was evident in his voice.

  “Seriously, Pip, I don’t want him that way. I only want him as my friend again.”

  “I know. I could see it. When you stepped away from him and held out your hand to me, I saw it.”

  “Good. I don’t want you to think I want anyone except you.” Because he hadn’t from the moment he laid eyes on Philip. He was still amazed to think he was going to have Philip as his own for the rest of his life.

  “I know you don’t. I’m going to do my best to remember that when I see Tristan again. But I’m not sure Tristan feels the same about you.”

  Amory wasn’t certain what Tristan felt himself. He hated to think he might have hurt Tristan. “I don’t know. I think more than anything he wants someone of his own.”

  “As long as that someone isn’t you.”

  He kissed Philip’s chest, the only place he could reach without moving. He was far too comfortable to move. “Definitely not me. I’m yours.”

  “Yes, you are.” Philip rolled so he was on top of Amory, and started kissing and nuzzling Amory’s neck. “All mine.”

  Amory shivered, at the kisses, but mostly at the words. “Yes. And you? Are you mine?”

  Philip lifted his head and looked down at Amory, his eyes blazing. “Yes. All yours.”

  Amory reached up and pulled him down into a scorching kiss.

  WEDDING PLANS progressed as quickly as possible. Philip wanted them to marry soon, but he also wasn’t going to stint on any part of the wedding. This would be a wedding on the scale of every other royal wedding if Philip had his way, and Amory didn’t have the heart to argue. Well, he tried to tell Philip that such a large and formal wedding wasn’t necessary. He did not call it a spectacle, however appropriate the word might be.

  But Philip didn’t agree. Amory understood that Philip thought their wedding needed to be the same as it would be if the prince were marrying a woman, even though Amory did hate the idea of that many people watching. He was thrilled to be marrying Philip. He was less than thrilled about being the focus of so much attention. Since he would be the prince’s husband soon, he supposed he should get used to it. As the prince’s lover, he should probably be used to it already.

  Amory could only hope Philip’s family attended the wedding. It wouldn’t look good if the prince’s uncle didn’t attend his wedding, and more, Philip would feel awful. Amory didn’t want Philip to feel anything but joy on their wedding day. He wanted Philip to be happy all the time.

  Amory had briefly considered calling the whole thing off, or at least asking Philip to postpone the wedding for a while. Maybe with more time Philip’s uncle would come to accept Philip’s choice. He doubted some of the nobility ever would, from the snide comments he overheard and the derisive looks he received when Philip wasn’t around. He was more worried about Philip than himself. He hated that his presence in Philip’s life might cause difficulty for Philip as prince of Tournai. But Etan convinced Amory not to cancel the wedding.

  “My cousin is a strong man and a good ruler, though the throne was thrust upon him far earlier than it should have been,” Etan told Amory. “But before he found you, his duty was drowning him. He was drowning in responsibility and obligations and everyone’s expectations of him. All of those things are still there, but they’re not pulling him down like they were. That has to be because of you.”

  “And yet our betrothal only causes him more problems.”

  Etan shrugged. “Some people don’t like it. Some people wouldn’t like it if he married one woman instead of another. They’ll get over it. Until then, he can weather it with you beside him. I think he can weather anything with you beside him. You ground him. So be happy, Amory, and make him happy too.”

  He wanted to make Philip happy, more than anything. Which was why he was in a little-used corner of the palace library hunting through large, dusty tomes that probably hadn’t seen the light of day in decades. He had been studying healing magic for months, and though Jadis had been right in his initial determination—there wasn’t all that much Amory could do—he found the magic and the theory behind it fascinating. He couldn’t use much of it, but he read about it when he had the time.

  Somewhere in all his reading, he remembered seeing a vague reference he thought might be useful. So he was digging through books of esoteric magic he didn’t understand trying to find the origin of that reference. He was determined to do it too, but he hadn’t told Philip yet. Partly because he wasn’t certain he would succeed in finding what he thought might be there or that it would work if he did, and partly because the whole search felt a little desperate. He didn’t want Philip to see that in him.

  But ever since Philip had said “our child” Amory couldn’t get the words out of his head. It wasn’t only about Philip having the heir his duty required him to produce, and Amory not wanting him to have to find a woman with whom Philip could fulfill that duty. It was also, maybe more, about a child, a child of theirs. He wanted that, for the both of them. That having a child would help Philip as prince of Tournai was the secondary reason. But he hadn’t found anything in all the days of searching, and he began to think he wouldn’t.

  “Amory?”

  He jumped as the voice broke the silence of the library. Tristan walked over and perched on the table next to where Amory worked.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “It’s all right. I didn’t hear you come in.” But he wasn’t surprised to see Tristan. After his first visit to the palace a couple of weeks ago, he began appearing multiple times each week. Amory wasn’t sure if Tristan wanted to see him or Etan on these visits. He and Philip watched with some amusement as Tristan and Etan circled each other. Philip lost a lot of his stiltedness around Tristan due to it, but Amory worried. He hoped Tristan and Etan could become friends, or more than friends. But he didn’t want to see either of them hurt.

  “Looks like you were engrossed in something, and I thought I was the studious one. What is all this?” Tristan peered at the books and papers spread out in front of Amory.

  “Just a project I’m working on.” He began closing books before Tristan got a good look at what he was reading, his so far unhelpful reading. “It’s probably doomed to failure.”

  “Can I help?”

  He shook his head. “No. Thank you. I’ll muddle through and see if I can find what I’m looking for.”

  “What are you looking for?” Tristan was nothing if not persistent, but he would have no idea his curiosity was unwelcome at the moment.

  “I don’t even know if it exists.”

  “That would make looking for it more difficult. Are you being purposely evasive?” Tristan asked.

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  Tristan studied him and then sighed. “You’re very difficult, you know? Fine. Let me know if you need help.”r />
  “Thank you.”

  Tristan waited another moment, as if Amory might change his mind and tell him everything. But Amory wasn’t ready to share this crazy idea, not with Tristan, not with anyone. He might never be. If he ever told anyone, he would tell Philip first, or only Philip. He didn’t need everyone knowing how crazy he was if it didn’t work out the way he hoped.

  Another sigh from Tristan. “All right. Do you need to keep working on whatever this is? Or can you stop for a while?”

  “I suppose I could.” He wasn’t making progress anyway. Maybe he was wasting his time. Not that he was going to stop, but he saw no harm in stepping away for the day. “What were you thinking?”

  “It’s a sunny day. I thought maybe we could go for a ride. We haven’t done that since before I went away.”

  They used to go riding often, just the two of them or with other friends. Tristan had always shared Amory’s enjoyment of riding and swimming and being outside. Philip enjoyed riding, and they went together often, but he wasn’t as keen on swimming. Amory wondered if the dislike stemmed from what his Talent allowed him to become.

  “I’d like that.” He finished tidying away the books. No one minded him claiming a table in a corner of the library, but he didn’t want anyone seeing what he was reading and wondering what he was doing. “Let’s go.”

  They walked down to the stable together and waited out in the courtyard while their horses were saddled and one of the royal guard was summoned to accompany them. Tristan teased him about the guard, and Amory did his best to ignore it. The teasing, at least, was the same as always, even if the subject of it had changed.

  Etan arrived as their horses were being brought out. His expression lightened considerably when he saw them, or maybe saw Tristan. Despite their friendship, Amory wasn’t so deluded as to think he could cause so dramatic a change in Etan’s demeanor.